JanSport Fort Hayes

Ok, stay calm first you need a beautiful bag to put you and your partner’s things in for the weekend getaway. JanSort has you covered with their Fort Hayes bag. First off it looks stylish as all heck. Your partner will be impressed with your fashion sense. Secondly it is an amazing construction with a Lifetime Warranty. If in a moment of heat nudge nudge wink wink a zip breaks no probs people. Just watch out because Hipsters will follow you drooling everywhere.

Coffrets Prestige Détente Giftbox

Bags are easy, totally superficial so your partner knows you style. What you put inside that bag is what counts. Bam, a relaxation giftbox! Need I say more? This baby is good for over 20 relaxation ideas in and around Montreal. What says I love you like zen music, oils and Scandinavian muscular individuals working out knots? They will be impressed with your thoughtfulllness. And if you don’t live near Montreal then there is the added benefit of your partner thinking you are buying a ticket to Montreal (I would suggest it otherwise the gift is sort of silly).

MSR Cook Quick 2 set 

Spas aren’t your thing, got it. You are an outdoorsy person and you want to share some quality time together in the woods. What better way to show you care than by cooking a delish meal with a nice bottle of red. As you woo your mate with stories of that time you were caught in your tent by circling wolves in Yellowstone, you can prepare them a 4-star dish fit for kings. 2 mugs, 2 plates, pots, frypans and all that jazz will make the meal a breeze. Don’t cook too much because he or she will not be able to thank you properly after if they are digesting up a storm.

TNF Twin Peaks

A two person sleeping bag from The North Face. It’s is warm: good until -7 Celsius. It is quality. It is the only choice for a Valentine’s Day snuggle-fest in the woods (or at home for that matter with candles and chocolate fondue on the floor). Thank me later.

Chocolate & Flowers

If you don’t go out now and buy chocolates and flowers then you are in trouble. Trust me.

But here is my problem (besides the car door situation), what the heck do I wear to run in when it is -25 outside? My winter down jacket is made to keep me smoking warm at a standstill so jogging in it is out of the question. I have numerous base and mid layers but I would have to wear at least 5 layers to keep me warm enough. That would definitely irritate my delicate flower-like composure.

Royal trumpet sounds

Enter The North Face Crimptastic Jacket! A rare breed indeed.

The North Face Men's Crimptastic Hybrid Jacket

Looks like any other down jacket on earth, right. WRONG! Well ok, in the above photo it does, but trust me, it is like no other. Look at the elbows and you will notice that they are made out of simple fleece. Life up the arms and you will notice that the entire sides are also made out of Polartec.

I hope you were sitting down. Get a paper bag and breathe into it. Regain your composure. This is not a Frankenstein ‘monster’ of the outdoors, mixing fabrics and materials, disregarding Biblical rules in a Dr. Moreau-ish manner, this is a marriage of technology unseen since Alien v. Predator.

This is the bees knees of mid-layers. It is made with 800 Loft down so number snobs like me will be happy. It takes less down to keep you as warm so they can make a lighter, thinner, more compact jacket (such as this one). I used in this on an epic night hike in the Laurentians where it was -20 Celsius and with windchill approx -30 C and as long as I was on the move I was warm as a button.

I don’t know how to photoshop so don’t look up my nose. Too late

My friend and I almost died that night because it was snowing and blowing so hard the track disappeared under the fresh snow, but I am still certain that it was because of my Crimptastic jacket that we survived (disclaimer: this jacket does not provide free orienteering tips), and not because of the dog with us sniffing us through the haze.

Someone should wipe that smug smile off her face…

To make this tech top as light as humanly possible The North Face has gone with tried and tested fabric company Pertex, but more importantly Pertex’s lightest fabric ,known as Quantum. It is 20 Denier and weights an astonishing 30g/m2. Fast and light people- the former depending on you of course). What that translates to is if you put this jacket on, you actually lose weight! All you worry warts are shaking your heads thinking this is a recipe for major down loss through the face fabric. Fret not my wee one’s, Pertex Quantum has a super tight weave so no embarrassing down loss (the dandruff of outdoor products). The fabric is also extremely wind resistant and so I wore this as a standalone piece with only a base layer underneath.

But enough about the jacket, and more about me. I usually demand hoods on jackets like these, but The North Face has really made a hardcore midlayer here, and there is just no need for a hood on a mid-layer, when your final layer most definitely has one. I accept the hoodlessness. I praised the lightweight fabric earlier, but it must be mentioned that this is not a jacket to go rock climbing with. I have ran into some serious branches and snagged it a few times, and so far haven’t noticed a scratch, but bare in mind that weight goes with durability. It was designed as a mid-layer (and thus hides under a hardshell or softshell), but I have mostly used it as a final layer because it offers such good wind resistance. If you do as me be weary of sharp nails!

This is an amazing piece of equipment that belongs in (some of) your wardrobes. It is definitely not for everyone, as it is a hybrid piece that is simultaneously warm (in the down core), and cold (in the fleece underarms, and so many people will find it quite redundant if not useless. But for all you winter aerobic enthusiasts out there do not look past this sweet piece of gear candy. It will keep what you need warm while you exercise and also breathe like any old fleece jacket. Best of both worlds in my opinion.
I give this jacket two of these:

If I could feel my other thumb it would have been giving a thumbs up.

Against my pale skin I am sure you are all tired of me writing about Merino wool, so cool your jets because I am going into the backcountry on this trip so I have changed my usual recipe.
	Arc'teryx Phase AR Zip Neck LS for Men & Women On my upper body I will be wearing an Arc'teryx Phase AR Zip Neck. Made with 2 different fabrics (one that hates water and one that loves it) it absorbs sweat extremely quickly and dry in the blink of an eye. Since we will be bootpacking up into the backcountry, I prefer this against my skin when I will be sweating a wee bit more heavily.
	Icebreaker Bodyfit 200 Legless for Men & Women On my legs the classic Icebreaker Body Fit 200 Legless bottoms. They stop at the upper shin so I don't have useless overlap in my boot of a legging AND sock. My go to legging for aerobic activities in the winter.
	Icebreaker Ski+ Lite for Men & Women I don't sweat in my feet (they like to pretend to be iceblocks after 5 minutes so I will be wearing Icebreaker Ski+ socks. They are thin in low wear areas and padded in those spots you weight your boots constantly.
Middle Earth Many people neglect the midlayer. I love the midlayer, less so due to importance, but mostly because some outdoor companies make some radical options (of which I own all). But don't get me wrong, it is the midlayer that will decide if you are happy all day or sad.
	Icebreaker Quantum Hood for Men & Women Icebreaker's Quantum Hood is one of my favourite's. It is snuggly when you are cold and almost nonexistent when you are heating up. Alta is topping out at -2 Celsius during the day so this is an ideal piece for those marginally cold days of descents. If the temperatures were around the -10 Celsius range I would be grabbing my The North Face Crimpatastic down midlayer jacket. Thin, filled with down, and fleece cutouts in high wear areas- amazing cold weather piece. Not this trip unfortunately.
	My drumsticks don't really get cold so I won't bother with a midlayer. I'll be slapping a pair of old Burton AK snowboard pants to keep out the wet. They are loaded with zips to vent out the humidity so I am not worried about getting too hot hiking around with my skis strapped to my pack. Check out Altitude-sports.com in the near future and you may be seeing more products like these…
The Final Layer
	Oakley Pink Iridium Goggles Oakley's Pink Iridium goggles are the way to go. They're like a bulletproof vest for your eyes and face.
	The North Face Hecktic down jacket for Men Ah the ski jacket. Can you ever have enough of these? This winter I decided I was tired of freezing my booty. I welcomed to my gear closet The North Face Hecktic down jacket. 700 loft down keeps me toasty warm and the core vents keep me cool as a cucumber; it really depends how hard I want to push and my body temperature. The rad green colour makes this a certain choice for me, especially with the built in snowskirt and the Hyvent Alpha MEMBRANE TNF has used in this high-end piece.
	Burton Clutch glove for Men With the weather being as warm as it is I am not too worried about my fingers. Usually I rock The North Face Mountain Guide Mitt, but to Alta I will bring the Burton Clutch glove. Full Gore-Tex assures me of dryness and the storm cuff reassures me of powder not sneaking in.
	The North Face Patrol 24 People call me a lot of hurtful words: the most appropriate one would be pretentious. Some say it is because I use big words unnecessarily, others because of my thick-rimmed glasses, but mostly because I always ski with a pack on. Who wouldn't want to sip on water as they ski, or have constant access to gummy worms, or a copy of a Dostoyevsky novel you just have to read a seventh time? My The North Face Patrol 24 Pack is the bees knees (mine is white I apologize for the visual deception). I can strap almost anything to it, it will carry avalanche gear, lunch, etc, all without complaining. It's hideaway belt is my favorite feature as I can use it around town hassle free.

So that's it folks. I'm off to Utah to see some nifty outdoor brands, ski the backcountry, and most probably introduce myself to the nearest hospital that deals with ski accidents. Layer up and hit the slopes.

1. Arc’teryx Zenta AR Glove

Last year Arc’teryx revolutionized the construction of gloves. This year they have perfected it. 200 grams of Primaloft make this a warm glove to be reckoned with. The lavish leather palm and finger tips create unsurpassed tactility as well as durability. However to add breathability and comfort to the glove they went with a nice softshell fabric for the back of the hand. Perfect length for skiing or any snowsport where keeping the snow out is a pre-requisite. Did I mention it is full Gore-Tex?

2. Icebreaker LS Pursuit Zip

Tired of hearing about Merino wool? Too bad, it is the best stuff on earth. What could be better you ask? What if they add 3% Lycra to add that extra stretch you oh so pray for when in the crux of an ice climbing pitch you have to do a high-step. No problemo with their GT line because that Lycra helps you move even more freely. Zip neck lets you regulate your temperature more easily, and the thumb loops keep the sleeves where they should be. Now if only I could get a six-pack so I could wear this in public…

3. Oakley Crowbar (Hot Pink). For women (or adventurous men)

Style and class isn’t just reserved for first class passengers. Get a pair of these babies and you will be riding high next time you hit the slopes. They are super comfortable with or without a helmet, and most importantly are a great size- goggles seem to be on steroids these days. It fits over the face perfectly, and does not gobble it up like some bigger models. But most important it comes with the beautiful VR50 Pink Iridium lens. The iridium coating blocks glare and heightens the contrast on the hill. No more flat light sneaking up on you.

4. The North Face Base Camp Gear Box

The base camp duffel line has been around for years. The fabric is tough and waterproof (seems are not sealed so don’t go scuba diving with it please). Recently The North Face started delving into ski products and thus have come up with this prize jewel for skiers. Put your ski boots in there, with accessories and throw it in the trunk- no more concerns. Throw it on your back with the handy shoulder straps or clip it to its buddy (http://www.altitude-sports.com/eng/products/gear-and-equipment/backpacks/travel-packs/base-camp-ski-roller?avcj). Are 3 handles enough for you?

5. The North Face Shekter Jacket

As I kid I always dreamed of being trapped in the world of Tron (the original, not the Legacy)! Those cool electro suits and Bauer hockey helmets subtlety converted into futuristic headwear- what a world they battled in. Well my dreams were realized this season with the addition of the Shekter Jacket. With it’s crazy design and neon green trim anyone can pretend to be in the ultimate Frisbee/jai alai battle to the death. All the usual stuff The North Face brings to the table: fully waterproof, seam-sealed, beautiful softshell fabric. 80 grams of insulation in the core and 60 in the sleeves- definitely for the racer in you, so ski hard on those cold days.

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Max Altitude

The North Face Men’s Free Thinker

This jacket hasn’t changed in years, and I say this not as a criticism. Burly to all heck, a skier’s cut, and best of all comes in WHITE. For men! I know what I am asking for this holiday.

Arc’teryx Men’s Beta FL

Sure I have a penchant for this Canadian brand, but this jacket uses Gore’s new membrane Active Shell. More breathable and lighter- what more could you want? How about the Citron colour it comes in? I’ll have 3, thanks.

The North Face Women’s Mountain Light Triclimate Jacket

One price, two jackets. Gore-Tex hardshell protects a removable down jacket. Practical, versitle and hardcore. Sure it is in black- Jonny Cash wore black. Do you dislike Jonny Cash?

Icebreaker Women’s Oasis V Speed Crew

Sure I love merino wool. You know what I love more than merino wool? Cool motifs. This Icebreaker top has both.

Burton’s Clutch Glove

This glove is warm, tight-fitting and covered in that delicious membrane Gore-Tex. Small enough to wear throughout winter, but insulated enough to wear while skiing/riding. And the cuff, my lord, the cuff: fits nicely under any jacket.

Buy them, try them, thank me later.

Mark Altitude

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Max' Top 5 New Ski/Snowboard Gear for 2011/2012

Patches, I swear one day I will give you a good belay on a climbing roadtrip. Thanks for giving up 4 coffees.

Mom, I really hope you are not internet-savvy enough to find my striptease. But if yes, I’m sorry.

Andy, bro, I will ride hard to deserve your donation, even if it’s not on a vintage Colnago.

Creece, when is your band going to become famous, I’m tired of waiting.

Max, I’m sorry about the tent fiasco. One day I will grow up, I swear.

Mr. Dave H., it’ll be our little secret. One free squash lesson is waiting to be redeemed.

Sofia you Mexican minx, gracias. Mi otro burro es una moto? I’m still learning.

You magnificent anonymous donators, thank you. Really, thank you. Your generosity and mysteriousness abounds! And specifically to the one who wants me to be president, after this next photo I will never have a chance, I apologize.

Erick and Simon at Jacobsons, merci pour votre aide alimentaire, notre equipe vous adore. I will try and wear long sleeves more often so as not to scare your customers.
Icebreaker, what can I say your jerseys are fabulous. The entire team LOVES them, so thank you very much for the support.

So now it is time.  Thanks to another anonymous donator I have one last photo for the world.  Are you ready to take a journey through space and time with me?  Juan Altitude dared me to take this photo, and I’m not one to decline a challenge.  I am, however, one to do things because they seem funny at the time and then regret them in a hail of embarrassment at a later point.  But then I said to myself, “Sven (that’s what I call myself when I need positive reinforcement), this is for a good cause, do it and then go get ice cream.”  And so that’s what I did.  I put a sock on, called up a friend to take the photo and waited.  Two days later when my friend arrived I was cold, but ready.  He later told me he did two days of drinking in preparation for the photo shoot; understandable. During the shoot I felt good, a little too good some would say.  Maybe it was because I enjoy wearing my birthday suit, but maybe, just maybe it was because I knew I was getting ice cream after.

Avert you eyes if you are squeamish, and click here.

A promise is a promise. And don’t forget you can donate up until the 9th of September!

But back to the good stuff. “Sofia” has generously donated $50 to push me/us into the next level of awkward nudity. She is a crafty one that Sofia. An anonymous donor also gave another $100 so after this article I will have to publish another in quick succession, but we’ll go over that “uncovered” bridge when we come to it (that was a nudity-bridge pun by the way). So let us all give thanks to Sofia, that mysterious beauty who actually demanded I take something exciting off. Your wish is my command Sofia. I hope you are sitting down:

This is a good time for you to give to a good cause. Click on this link to help kids out.

Mark
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24h Tremblant Striptease: Stairway to heaven begins

24h Tremblant Striptease: Say what?

According to Icebreaker, “the Circuit will soon become your favorite cycle top.” Pfft, don’t tell me what I will like, sir. I am my own man. Furthermore no one could dethrone my favorite bike jersey, no one! But I guess if I don’t try anything else then I’ll never grow as an individual. And so begins our journey begins.

It was hot that morning, and it made me worried. The Circuit jersey is made with 2 different fabric weights- 260 on the front and 200 in the back. I was worried because that 260 weight fabric is what I wear as a base layer skiing when it’s flipping cold out- why on earth would I want to wear it pushing it on a bike in the middle of summer? Turns out merino’s breathability is far greater than my small mind could comprehend. I didn’t even bother to unzip the jersey during the lengthy ride, which is saying a lot as usually my synthetic jerseys are open like a 7-Eleven after about 5 minutes. 10 out of 10 for breathability.

Someone had left their camera in the road and it totally randomly took a picture of me.

The fact that the jersey breathes so well translates to a comfortable cycling experience. I was always in a nice comfort zone in terms of bodily temperature. Some might say it is because I ride at a modest 8 kilometers an hour, but others would say it is because of the amazing qualities of merino wool.

This is me going 8km/h

Now perhaps of the six people who read this five think cycling is actually about cycling- it isn’t. It’s about parking your bike at the swankiest coffee shop in your town and basking in the sun on the terrace. Must haves include a retro cycling cap, musette and (unfortunately) attitude. What you don’t want are hairy legs, (in my opinion) attitude, but mostly importantly a foul odor. Merino wool’s got your back- no stink.

Most importantly Icebreaker has done a killer job with the aesthetics of this jersey. Super simple, two tone beauty. It comes in three nice colours all with a great stripe across the shoulder in a cool accent colour. Who could ask for anything better?

Some proud members riding for Cycle et Sports Tremblant in the 24h. Notably two riders who raced for Canada (cross-country and downhill) and a national level cross-country skier, amongst others (like Chris “monster” Green).

Finally I cannot write this review without mentioning that I could not have reviewed this product if it was not for Icebreaker’s generosity. They kindly gave the Cycle et Sports Tremblant/Altitude-sports.com 24h bike team these jerseys so we could compete in the race in style. And in style we shall. So a big thank you to Icebreaker Canada and their support of great cause. Don’t forget that you yourself can contribute to the cause through my site if you wish:

24h Tremblant: My fundraising so far. Won't you help me help sick children?

Now go and ride before cyclocross season rolls in and the leg warmers come out.

Mark

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24h Striptease and/or Tremblant: Mark's Stairway to Heaven Begins.

A lot has happened since my last article about the 24h race against cancer in Mont Tremblant. Snippets of my excitement have been splashed across our facebook page (found here), but I thought I would add some meat to the bones.

Icebreaker’s generous donation of cycling jerseys for our team finally arrived and we are currently putting miles onto them. Once I have my religious inspiration I will throw a review your way of these very cool jerseys.

Also, Jacobsons Concept Gourmet Mont Tremblant has very generously decided to support the team by supplying us with delicious food for lunch. Now I don’t throw around the word delicious lightly. I use it when my mouth waters thinking about certain foods. Everything at Jacobsons makes me drool, from their vêge paté sandwich to their chocolate/praline croissants to their crazy selection of teas. And don’t get me started on their chocolates. I haven’t put something that good in my mouth since summer camp back in 2000.

But I know you are just skimming this as you know what is coming. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I reached phase 1 of my donations. So you get a little prize - my body. Now I understand if you are shy, but ssshhhh everything will be ok. Just take a deep breath and click here.

That wasn’t so bad right. Just sort of embarrassing for me. I don’t mind at all. Click here to go back to it. Now that was naughty. Let’s face it, you want more. All you have to do is donate to the cause and your wish is my command (you can check out my progress here). You don’t have to tell anyone about your infatuation for me. It’ll be our little secret.

And don’t forget if I reach my next goal I will be losing a piece of clothing- and not something superfluous like a sock. I want to embarrass myself fully (and my mother) so it will be a largish piece.

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24h Tremblant Striptease: Say what?

24h Tremblant Striptease: Gettin' Hot in Herre

Last year Mont-Tremblant held the first annual 24Hour bicycle event at the local car racing circuit to raise money for sick children, and let me tell you it was a fine success. The reciprocal skiing event has been such a tremendous triumph at raising money the last decade that they finally introduced it to the summer loving folk such as myself. They won’t regret it.

My friends and I had a blast raising money and riding hard for last year’s 24hours which you can read about here), and naturally this year my friends and I have joined together once again to ride in this endurance event. We will join forces from noon Saturday September 4th until noon Sunday to ride non-stop around the track. But before this astounding feat of athleticism is accomplished we will raise as much money as possible. I plan on doing just that to the best of my abilities. Unfortunately my abilities are rather limited in that department, so Altitude-sports.com will be helping me to raise as much as I can- Altitude-sports.com and your love for nudity that is. Let me explain.

I don’t remember much from University (not because I was a drinker, but because it was so long ago), but one snippet I do remember is of men and women scantily clad in the middle of winter raising money for the swimming team (not because I hung around the swimming team, but because I hung around scantily clad people). This gave me an idea. An idea that may give people a reason to give money to the 24h cycling cause and the children it will help; it may also give people nightmares, but we have a good lawyer so I am not too concerned with this aspect. I will sacrifice my beautiful (and rarely seen) body in hopes it will get people to throw your spare change my way.

This is the game: the more money you donate to the 24hour cause, the more clothes I will take off. Simple. Things you should be wondering: how pale is this boy of Scottish origin? Can looking straight at his alabaster skin make me go blind? Can I donate more money to keep his clothes on (answer is yes)? What do his parents think of their “alternative” child? All good questions and all to be answered in the near future. Who’s with me? Anyone? Good! Get out your wallets and join me on an epic adventure of totally gratuitous nudity (PG-13 of course), and other edgy money raising schemes to help kids receive the money they need to fight cancer. Click here to see where I'm at.

You can see that thanks to many generous friends I have almost accomplished my 1st goal of $500. Currently I am standing at $487 so I need a mere $13 to make it. Do this and you will be rewarded with a surprise on the Altitude-sports.com blog. If I can reach my second, and more ambitious, goal of $650 another surprise will be rewarded. I won’t even mention the photo I would have to put up if I reached the ultimate goal of $1000- but the nudity will be magnificent. Maybe I could find a horse and cowboy hat or something along those lines. If unicorns existed I would ride one for you.

On the subject of donations I want to thank those who have made it possible for me to reach my first goal. My brother Andy (who is actually in England building me a vintage steel bike as we speak for me), Max you sly, secret hipster, Davey Creece who is supporting me from his singlespeed in Australia, Mr. Dave H. who anonymously donated to prevent family vendettas, Simon and Erick at Jacobsons Concept Gourmet in Mont-Tremblant (amazing post-ride coffees to be had), and finally Patches who gave up some serious caffeine rushes to help this cause- thank you all. A big thank you also goes out to Altitude-sports.com who is giving me two weeks paid holidays to train in Europe for this event… (please?)

A special thank you goes out to Icebreaker who are generously offering our team their new merino wool Circuit Jersey for the men and Rhythm jersey for the ladies. If ever you have been cycling on a hot, oppressing day you will be glad you looked into these jerseys. Their comfort and breathability are beyond reproach.

24h Tremblant Striptease: Stairway to heaven begins

I will be going more in-depth in the near future reviewing this product for your edification. The event is happening September 10th and 11th, meaning you have until Friday night to donate to this cause, and potentially see me riding a unicorn naked. Start saving those pennies because it will be worth your while (according to 2.3 out of 10 inebriated women). After this date you will have to suffice with my fully clothed person serving you at the Tremblant store. -Mark

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24h Tremblant Striptease: Stairway to heaven begins

24h Tremblant Striptease: Gettin' Hot in Herre

Like all good holidays I decided to travel with my good friend's wife. In the heat of the midday sun we placed Montreal firmly in our rearview mirror. Being a rare breed of flying peacock, Lara and I need to spread our wings, and to do so we decided to head down to the White Mountains in New Hampshire. About flying peacocks, you need to know they are indecisive. During our heated debates about party invitations, and well on our way to beautiful New Hampshire we had an about-face and realized that the soothing waters of Maine would do our fragile souls some (more) profound healing.

After a brief stop in Pussumpsic for some cash, we drove on to Gorham for a delicious supper at J's Restaurant. The ribs were to die for and the Pig Ear Brown Ale only made it better. The side of garlic mashed potatoes were delicious to the point where I was nearly reenacting the classic dinner scene in When Harry Met Sally. Lara had something that was not the ribs, and so not worth mentioning here.

At around 9pm we stopped in Bethel and camped in a lovely, empty campground. The owner placed us in the best spot he said, "Right near the playground..." I left feeling pegged as a pedophile. Regardless of what that man thought I looked like his campground had the best/cleanest toilets and showers I have seen in 20 years of camping. A great start to our trip.

Drove straight from Bethel to Bar Habor next in one long shot. Got some splendid sandwiches at a dog friendly bistro on the ocean. Bought a nice bottle of Riesling, sandwiches and got some free dog treats for our efforts. Drove down the coast for a few minutes to a beautiful rest stop and ate lunch while watching men and women with giant, solid trunks dig for clams in the modest bay. We finished up and made a last ditch run to Mount Desert Island.

Having a dog with us we stopped briefly at an information center to get some dog advice on regulations, and were pointed in the direction of Seawall Campground in Acadia National Park. A few picturesque towns, a whole lot of lobster joints, and then out popped our campsite from a small peninsula a few miles passed South West Harbor. We set up camp with smiles on our faces and a little wag in Hobie's tail.

With lodging taken care of we finally had time to unwind and start exploring the stupidly named island. First off, the lighthouse- although when we got there it would more aptly be named the miniature lighthouse. Second up was flying mountain, but I use the term 'mountain' lightly as it was only 87 meters tall. Regardless of its height it did bring us joy as the views of several bays were stunning.

Food was needed to supply us with enough energy to sit on the beach so we headed to the local food market. Jams and preserves stocked to the ceiling - delicious. With a little halibut, local micro brews and some kettle chips we were good to go. That night we had fish and diced onions grilled to perfection on a fireplace with shard and boiled potatoes. My Tramp Stamp brown ale only added to the delicacy and Lara's Smuttynose IPA put a smile on her face as well. Off to bed.

Then the rain started. Then a girl woke us up with night terrors at 2am. The only logical solution was a greasy breakfast in the morning. By the time we got to Bar Harbor however the rain had soaked my shorts and I was feeling soggy. The warm coffee and eggs rekindled my spirits as did the peppy, stereotypical American waitress. The sun came out and we walked the town of Bar Harbor up and down. Like all good road trips we went to the towns best knickknack store and bought aprons, and fridge magnets, and books about how to preserve, and after getting the low down on a dog friendly, advanced hike to do from the store owner, we jumped in the car and drove to Beehive Mountain.

It was raining again so we threw on some mid layers, put the rain jackets in the backpack and headed up to push our limits. Instead of pushing my limits I ended up pushing the dog up metal rung ladder after metal rung ladder on extremely precarious cliffs. As an aside next time a local tells you about this 'really cool hike they did years ago' take it with a grain of salt. Fortunately after about 45 minutes of sweating through crazy slippery cliffs and ladder sections the hike was beginning to get nice as we left Beehive summit behind us and approached Gorham peak (note: we later found out that dogs are prohibited on Beehive, and for good reason). Ridge top views high above the valley floor and ocean made this an awesome afternoon activity and a must-do hike for anyone not afraid of heights.

We needed to unwind after the hair-raising hike so we threw on our swimsuits and headed for the ocean. Sand beach, named by Capt. Obvious was a beautiful cove with a great swimming beach. An hour of people watching and discussions about our favorite type of moustache later, we were on our way home, via a freshwater lake to wash the salt off our now burnt bodies.

We decided a nice, dirty lobster meal was in order so we found the one with the biggest novelty lobster sign. Head of the Harbor caught our eye immediately. Looking out over S.W. Harbor we ingested gallons of butter mixed with small amounts of seafood- delectable. Some more microbrews and glasses of wine were had and then a quick walk around town to sweat out the butter. Off to bed.

Holidays aren’t just about relaxing so Lara and Idecided to head out for a morning run on the picturesque Maine roads along the ocean. The run was cut short due to, how do I say, problems with keeping inside things inside. Needless to say leaves were involved. The only way we could redeem ourselves was through the most amazing breakfast feast ever seen. The Seawall picnic area was the perfect backdrop. We mish-mashed potatoes with cheese and other yummy things. Brewing to our left was fresh coffee. A glorious breakfast indeed.

We didn’t really want to leave our morning haven, but peaks are made to be climbed and we needed to crush the fat congealing in our arteries. Unfortunately our digestion got in the way so we walked around Bar Harbour for a few hours. After doing all the outdoor shops we finally headed for Cadillac mountain. Being the indecisive peacocks that we are, we had a moment of clarity (and got lost) so ended up hiking the second tallest peak, Sargent (and Penobscot) mountain. You cannot drive to the top of these peaks (unlike Cadillac) so it had a much more ‘outdoorsy’ feel at the summit(s). Met the same family twice on 2 separate peaks due to a navigational error, but on the bright side I got to wear my skin colored short shorts. Highlight of the trip.

Another awesome meal with wine and flourless cake and the trip was over. But on the bright side I got to wear my short shorts.

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For more of Mark's hijinx, click the following links:

How Superfeet Changed My Life

Hardshell Softshell: What’s the difference? or Hard vs. Soft: Mark’s guide to loving

Arcteryx Gamma SK Pant – Reviewed by Mark Altitude

L'année dernière, le Mont-Tremblant a assisté à son premier évènement annuel de 24 heures de vélo. Ça c'est passé au circuit de course automobile local dans le but de faire une levée de fonds pour les enfants malades. Permettez-moi de vous dire que ça été un franc succès. L'évènement sœur en version ski a été un si grand triomphe pendant la dernière décennie qu'ils ont finalement décidé de l'introduire aux amoureux de l'été tel que moi-même. Ils ne le regretteront pas.

L'année dernière, le Mont-Tremblant a assisté à son premier évènement annuel de 24 heures de vélo. Ça c'est passé au circuit de course automobile local dans le but de faire une campagne de financement pour les enfants malades. Permettez-moi de vous dire que ça été un franc succès. L'évènement sœur en version ski a été un si grand triomphe pendant la dernière décennie qu'ils ont finalement décidé de l'introduire aux amoureux de l'été tel que moi-même. Ils ne le regretteront pas. Mes amis et moi, on s’est amusé comme des fous à rouler et à lever des fonds pour le 24 heures de l’année dernière (vous pouvez en lire plus ici; attention article en anglais). Il était évident qu’on allait recommencer cette année.

Cette épreuve d’endurance nous verra unir nos forces du samedi 4 septembre jusqu’à dimanche midi. Donc, on roule en continu pendant 24h. Le but de l’évènement c’est de ramasser des fonds et c’est ce que je ferais, au mieux de moi-même. Hélas, mes habiletés sont assez maigres dans ce département. Heureusement Altitude-sports.com m’aidera. Eh bien, c'est-à-dire, Altitude-sports.com et ton amour pour la nudité. Tu m’accordes un instant pour m’expliquer?

Je ne me souviens pas trop de mes années universitaire et pas parce que je faisais la fête, mais parce que ça fait si longtemps. N’empêche que je me souviens quand même d’hommes et de femmes vêtus de modestes costumes laissant très peu de place à la modestie qui faisaient une campagne de financement pour l’équipe de natation au beau milieu de l’hiver! Je ne m’en souviens pas parce que je me tenais avec l’équipe de natation, mais bien parce que j’aime me tenir avec des gens qui ne portent pas beaucoup de vêtements. Ce souvenir me donna une idée. Une idée qui risque de donner une raison de donner de l’argent qui ira aider des enfants en besoin; ça risque aussi de donner des cauchemars, mais puisque nous avons un bon avocat, je ne m’inquiète pas trop de cet aspect. Je sacrifierai mon corps sculpté et si peu vu dans l’espoir que tu sacrifieras quelques deniers.

Le jeu est simple : plus tu donnes de l’argent, plus je me dévêtirais. C’est simple, non? Certaines questions qui devraient vous traverser l’esprit : Est-ce que ce jeune est vraiment aussi pâle que ça? Puis-je être aveuglé si je regarde directement vers sa peau opaleuse? Puis-je donner de l’argent pour qu’il reste habillé? (La réponse est oui!) Ces parents pensent quoi de leur enfant « alternatif »? De si belles questions méritent de se faire répondre et c’est ce qu’on fera. Qui veut se joindre à moi? Allo? Ah parfait, allons-y. Sortez vos portefeuilles et voguez avec moi dans cette aventure épique de nudité gratuite (13 ans et +, bien évidemment),et d’autres manigances osées pour envoyer de l’argent aux enfants qui se battent contre le cancer.  Clique ici pour savoir comment m'aider

Comme vous voyez, grâce à mes amis généreux, j’ai réussi mon premier objectif the 500$ Si je peux rejoindre mon deuxième objectif de 550$, j’enlèverais un morceau. À 1000$, je vous laisse imaginer le paradis visuel qui serait libéré. Si les licornes existaient, il y en aurait une dans la photo, ça c’est certain. En parlant de dons, je tiens à remercier tous ceux qui m’ont permis d’atteindre mon premier objectif. À part mes proches, il y a Altitude-sports.com qui me donnent 2 semaines de vacances payées pour que je puisse m’entrainer en Europe. (SVP?) Un gros merci aussi à Icebreaker (www.icebreaker.com) qui offrent généreusement leur nouveau Circuit Jersey en mérinos pour les hommes et le Rhythm Jersey pour les femmes. Si vous avez déjà fait du vélo lors d’une journée étouffante de chaleur, vous pourrez apprécier ces chandails. Le confort et la respirabilité sont hors-pairs. J’en parlerai plus à une autre occasion. Le 24h de Tremblant aura lieu le 10 et 11 septembre, ce qui veut dire que vous avez jusqu’au vendredi 9 septembre pour soutenir cette belle cause et d’avoir le privilège de me voir en trai de monter une licorne nu. Je vous recommande de commencer à économiser vos bouteilles de bière parce que ça vaudra la peine (du moins selon 2,3 sur 10 femmes saoules). Par la suite, vous devrez vous contenter de ma personne qui vous servira vêtue au magasin à Tremblant.   -Mark

No, not biologically.  I do not have super feet, I have Superfeet.  They are insoles that will, without you noticing it, change your life.   I understand that a million thoughts are running through your mind as you read this- how can a man who is clearly a genius talk so highly of silly thingys you put inside your shoes.  It’s because I am not really a genius, that’s why.

A few years ago I picked up a sport called “working.”  I take part in this sport 5 times a week for long periods of time without a break.  And all of this standing up on my feet!  So in fact my feet are without a doubt not Super, but tired and always aching.  After work I am also on my feet running, cycling, playing ultimate Frisbee, eating poutine amongst other things.  My feet need all the help they can get.

Who cares?

Very good question.  I’m no doctor so I will dumb it down for both me and you.  Basically as you get older (and use/misuse your body) your arch starts to collapse.  From this your feet will start to flatten out and thus actually elongate.  That’s why as we get older we often find ourselves saying “that size X is too small.”  The size has stayed the same; it’s your foot that is getting longer.  This is bad because you are essentially losing your body’s suspension system.   This arch collapse can actually lead to other problems such as being knock-kneed (as your arch collapses your knees begin angling inwards).  This can actually lead to hip and back pain.  So it turns out that children’s song is quite accurate- the knee bone is connected to the hip bone.

What Superfeet do?

Superfeet is basically an orthotic.  Before you start to panic at the thought of the astronomical prices of custom orthotics ($300 and up), these babies average around $45.  What that means is it corrects the position of your foot in your shoe.  What that means is your feet, knees and back are happy.  The insole has a deep heal cup (and even deeper ones on certain models) that aligns the foot in the neutral position- this is what aligns your knees and hips.  You may have heard of pronation and supination as they are big terms in running.  Just know that both of those are bad for your body’s alignment, and that a neutral foot position is ideal.  That magic of Superfeet lies in the support it offers your arch, but more importantly where it offers it under the arch.  With a proper fitted Superfeet you will feel the rear of the arch being ‘propped up’ if you will.  It is good to have it at the rear as this allows the front portion of your arch to do what it is intended to do, which is offer a little suspension.

Why is Superfeet any different from other insoles?

Superfeet are made by the Northwest Podiatric Laboratory, one of North America’s largest producers of custom orthotics.  They decided to take hundreds of custom orthotics and from them design as single average orthotic with the most common points.  Hence the reasonable price and benefit for the average Joe like you and me.

What this translates to?

Put these babies in any shoe, whether running, cycling, soccer, everyday shoe (they even make models for high heels) and your foot will be supported and in neutral.  Because your foot is being propped up in the arch area your feet will no longer be splayed out in your shoe and you can now go back to buying your actual shoe size- and not a .5 to a full size bigger to compensate for your elongated/unsupported feet.  Again I am only talking from my personal experience but my foot and back pain has gone down considerably since putting these in the shoes I wear.  And did I mention that you can slip these from shoe to shoe, so no need to buy a bunch of pairs, just one will do to get started.

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Other articles you might like

10 Reasons to Wear Superfeet Insoles

Amy's Review

The North Face Alkaline GTX XCR running shoe

Nasty Runs: Running and jogging in cold and harsh weather

Hiking Shoe Buyer’s Guide – Altipedia

Trail running shoes: Click here for our buyer's guide

The Mont-Tremblant store, open for almost 2 years now, was well received by Arcteryx fans in Quebec but we had no idea that our creation would take the world by storm.  Amy de Bruyne, the store manager, was all choked up when she heard, “I knew it was nice (sniff) but I didn’t think it could compete on an international level like this.  I don’t have words to express my pride.”  Later she expressed them, but in private.

Timothy Nugent, one of the illustrious judges from WIM had this to say about our shop in shop; “I like your shop, like, a lot!”  Truer words have never been spoken Tim.   He, as did all the other judges, agreed that Mont-Tremblant’s Arcteryx section had a beautiful equilibrium of style, selection and grit- three things very important to Arcteryx as a brand.  Apparently what pushed us over the top was the staff’s undeniable love for the brand and the suggestive mood lighting.

Our two wonderful mannequins

You must be wondering how this will affect your experience at the Mont-Tremblant store.  Will egos expand?  Will you have to be on a guestlist to enter?  Will we buy each other jetpacks?  To be honest with you, maybe.  We are looking into velvet ropes to put at the front door and having permanent doormen.  We also have even bigger plans for the future.  We are still haggling for the price, but we are almost certainly going to buy a live elephant for the store.  Customers could not only play with it but also put clothing on its tusks when leaving the changing rooms.  Imagine that!  Finally we will install a Jell-o bar and customers will have receive free Jell-o with any purchase.

A view of the newly-awarded Arc'teryx section

Our awesome Arc'teryx award

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More of Mark's randomness:

24 hour Mont-Tremblant

How to get a Sandwich Named After You

The life of a retail assistant: Crazy Horse

Êtes-vous une amateure de plein air? Êtes-vous passionnée par les vêtements techniques? Notre équipe n’attend que vous. Altitude-sports.com, un chef de file en vêtements et en équipements de plein air, est à la recherche de candidats talentueux afin de travailler à sa boutique à Mont-Tremblant.

Si vous êtes dynamique, ambitieuse et passionnée par le plein air et souhaitez vous joindre à l’équipe d’Altitude Sports ou désirez simplement en savoir plus, faites parvenir dès aujourd’hui votre curriculum vitae en boutique ou à l’adresse suivante: tremblant@altitude-sports.com

Conseillère en ventes (à temps partiel)

En tant que conseillère de ventes, votre rôle est essentiel au service à la clientèle dans le magasin. Vous conseillerez les clients sur les caractéristiques, l'utilisation, les avantages, et l'entretien des produits vendus par Altitude-sports.com.

Si vous connaissez personnellement une candidate, cette dernière peut nous envoyer un courriel.

Nous remercions à l’avance tous ceux et celles qui témoignent de leur intérêt pour le poste, mais nous communiquerons uniquement avec les candidates retenues.

*Veuillez noter que le féminin est employé uniquement pour allèger le texte.

You cannot go anywhere without hearing something about Softshells. Softshell this, softshell that! Do you feel embarrassed because you do not understand what it is, or how is differentiates itself from a hardshell? Look no further reader, Mark will clarify all. Unfortunately we all know he will try to do so with his peculiar sense of humour only he owns. Speaking of owning, he also owns a pair of softshell Arc’teryx Gamma SK pants. He’ll review them at the same time. Bare with us...

• The Gamma SK are made with Arcteryx’s sweet Fortius fabric and are NOT laminated to a membrane. If you want buzz words then these babies are “Weatherproof,” but to the layman they are water and wind resistant. And robust enough for one of my many winter fetishes:

I actually did not know this photo was being taken. I slipped. That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

• No membrane means STRETCH and plenty of it. A major benefit over static waterproof membranes. I can step over the passed-out Ontario students during spring break at Mt. Tremblant no matter how big…

• No membrane means BREATHABILITY. Can I do Bikram Yoga in these- oh yes, but I won’t. they are ski pants- stay with me. More practically I can hike from the base of Mont-Tremblant to the top with skis or snowshoes and not be covered in my own sweat once at the top (to answer you backcountry enthusiasts). You will struggle to do this with a waterproof product!

• Weatherproof means I can play in the gustiest, snowiest snow storm you can imagine and not get wet. Oh my how is this possible? Simple, a well-made softshell will break the wind pretty much 100% and not let snow pass. Note I did not say slush here. I even tested them out on the slopes and with a Body Fit 200 Icebreaker bottom and I felt no wind at all.

Same goes for my New Years Eve threesome in the snow. That smile on my face means no snow is making it through. And notice the stretch- try that position with a hardshell pant without getting a world-class wedgie

• Features: cargo pockets for more free sausages and fruit salad, integrated gaiters to wrap around your boots, reinforced inner ankles for durability and belt to keep them from falling down.

If you remember my battle between the Arc'teryx Gamma SK and the Arc'teryx Sabre, you might now be wondering which one you should get, but are you joking?

You need them both. Both practical when applied to proper praxis. Hardshell when you want ultimate protection, softshell for breathability and weather-resistence.

Bing, Bang, Boom. Now you know, and G.I. Joe taught me that it is half the battle.

-Mark Altitude

Arcteryx Sabre Pant: Part 1 of 2 of my Battle Royale

Bullet points this time because it is 8:30 pm on a Friday night, I am at work all alone, and am sick. This will make all our lives easier:

• They come in lichen green and so fall into my hallucinogenic colour palette.

Can you guess who is wearing the coolest pants? Hint: he’s in the middle and looks like the inside of an avocado.

• They are made with Gore-Tex Proshell, making them…anyone? anyone? A hardshell. So I do not skip rope in them because I will sweat too much. But I do ski/telemark in them (resort not backcountry, for all the smarty-pants). 100% waterproof means I can sit in a puddle while drinking an overpriced coffee at the mountain for 15 minutes and not get a wet bum. I will still burn my tongue however.

Did I mention they are waterproof?

• They are well articulated so I can catch an edge at any time and fall gracefully without the pants restricting my movement. They aren’t low-rider either so the wind struggles to get in (or out for that matter) when I bend over.

• To compensate for the lack of breathability Arcteryx have installed foot-long zippers along the sides of both legs. Open those babies up and you’ll vent like you were on Dr. Phil’s couch talking about how when you were 8 your parents never came to that really important puppet show you put on at school. That’s right mom, I still remember.

• That breeze will do you good on those warm spring days because these pants are made with a brushed fleece lining (stupidly referred to as Gore Softshell) laminated on the inside to add a smidge of warmth.

• Two regular sized pockets, and 2 super-sized cargo pockets mean you can hit up the supermarkets Friday night and grab as many freebies as possible (my record is 27 mini sausages in one cargo pocket and 35 packets of peanuts in the other). No need to pack a lunch the next day on the slopes.

• The Arcteryx Sabre Jacket won Gear of the Year Award from Outdoor Magazine, so that must translate to something good with the pants right?

• Lastly, with the Recco avalanche rescue system the patrollers can find your pants much quicker. Hopefully you will still be attached to them… Use to me here in Mont-Tremblant where it doesn’t snow enough to need avalanche rescue? Zero. But it looks cool, and chicks dig that beacon.

• AND THEY LOOK AWESOME!

Don't look at me, look at the pants!

World’s Best Arcteryx Store-in-Store is in Mont-Tremblant

Hard vs. Soft

People often speak of a boat that apparently does not enjoy being rocked. Unfortunately if you were on said boat whilst reading certain comments I made in my last review (found here), specifically referring to the comparison between Gore-Tex and Windstopper, then you may be feeling a tad seasick. Hopefully the dramamine has taken effect, because I would like to continue a-rockin’ if I may. I don’t want to focus simply on Gore membranes, so let’s just talk about Hardshells and Softshells:

Gather ‘round children, it’s time to learn.

To get everyone on the same page, the difference between the aforementioned does not end at the suppleness of their exterior fabrics. Softshells were not invented for princesses and French Dukes who did not want the rugged, abrasiveness of a Hardshell against their delicate skin- that’s why velour was created.

Hardshells

Plain and simple a Hardshell is waterproof (and thus windproof), and if you are ready to invest, breathable*. Furthermore Hardshells come in a wide variety of “grades.” The spectrum ranges from those $50 bright yellow plastic jackets you see fisher(wo)men with to those gorgeous $650 Arcteryx jackets you see well-off fisher(wo)men with. Both are 100% waterproof. No rain, snow, sleet or any combination of the above will pass through these jackets. So why the price difference? Why does a Toyota Yaris cost $15,000 while a Ferrari 599 cost $315,000? They are both cars that can get you from point A to point B, so why on Earth would anyone buy the Ferrari (trick question)?

Why is a Hardshell amazing? Because it is waterproof. Why is a Hardshell limiting in the outdoors? Because it is waterproof. Once a jacket is waterproof, water can no longer pass, and before you call me a simpleton, you need to realize that this works in both directions! Meaning that if you decide to go run a marathon with your Hardshell because it is drizzling, the sweat (once in liquid form) will not be able to pass through the jacket- and trust me there will be plenty of sweat.

Everyone has experienced this with their waterproof and “breathable” shell when hiking on a hot day in the rain or ascending even in cold temperatures. You start sweating and mysteriously you get wet from the inside and not out. Time to return the jacket I guess, right? Wrong. Breathable jackets are breathable, but not that breathable. Water vapour can certainly pass through, and this is what makes membranes like Gore-Tex so magically delicious, but droplets can refer to that scene in Lord of the Rings where Gandalf screams, “You shall not pass!” As the amazing mountaineer Andy Kirkpartick humorously surmises on his fantastic site pyschovertical.com, if you want to buy a waterproof/breathable product go buy an umbrella. Cue the music: And thus was born the Softshell!

No, not that type of softshell!

Softshells

Softshells are the solution, and are here to save the day! But do they? They are a world apart from their above mentioned counterparts, yet intriguingly always associated with and/or shown alongside due to the suffix ‘shell.’ It’s a love/hate thing, I think. And I am tired of the hate. I just want the love.

Softshells get their name from the texture of the fabric. It has a much softer (less noisy) material and usually feels better as an outer layer (disregarding the cut of the jacket obviously). These jackets/pants are the bee’s knees because compared to their Hard counterpart they breath incredibly well. But why not just wear that old fleece you have lying in the closet behind your Thighmaster? It breaths better than any Hardshell! Wear fleece on the summit of a gutsy snowy peak and you will eat your frozen words. A Softshell is an important arrow in your outdoor quiver because it blocks the wind (almost) completely and resists snow and water to a surprising degree.

Its optimum utility is for highly aerobic sports where you will be creating significant body heat, such as snowshoeing and cross country skiing. It’s cold, windy, snow is falling and all you want is to get to the fast food joint on the summit with minimal perspiration so as not to offend the other customers. Throw on that Harshell and people will be giving you the old stink-eye! A Softshell will minimize perspiration because of its ability to evacuate humidity quicker than people off the Titanic, but all the while blocking the wind and snow.

Am I criticizing Gore-Tex? no. The stuff is way better than those plastic bag jackets that I can buy at the dollar store in terms of weight (Paclite), durability (Guaranteed), and heck you are even allowed to iron Gore-Tex. Try and do that with your plastic bag shell! Go for a walk in a plastic bag and go for a walk in a breathable/waterproof membrane. The difference in cost will be made evident.

Have you ever been hiking in the fall on the West Coast Trail only to have it pour rain on you for a week straight? I haven’t, but if I went I wouldn’t bring a Softshell. I would bring a Hardshell because the former would wet through after a few hours and I would be grumpy. Do you see where I am going with this?

All you need to know is that both Hard and Softshells are useful. Do they each have benefits? Yes. Do they each have drawbacks? Yes. I’ll show you why with a Battle Royale Review. I will pit two products against each other in a battle to the end, Star Trek style. As some of you may know I like my outdoor equipment like I like my Lederhosen: expensive and well-made. Accordingly, it will be the illustrious Artceryx Sabre pant pitted against the infamous Arcteryx Gamma SK pant. Hard vs Soft. But you will have to come back to read them…

All of this is going through my mind as they do their best to re-enact a scene out of The Deer Hunter with me. My pulse beats a mile a minute, my mouth is as dry as a martini, yet somehow my focus is not on their anger-infused words, but on their wildly gesturing hands. They are all wearing the new Venta SV glove from Arcteryx. Oh man does it look badass as it comes swinging across my freckled face. I’m jealous.

Cut to me two days later, I’m missing half an ear, but wearing my very own pair of Venta SV gloves. It’s cold in my unheated bachelor pad, but my hands are warm. It’s windy too but the Windstopper membrane blocks any environmental flatulence (see blog reference). But as I leave my apartment wondering why it’s windy inside my home, I realize I need to test these babies to the max.

1. Dexterity

The fingers are beautifully pre-curved. When you put the glove on it is not like putting on a pair of pants you left outside all winter. So if you are looking for a pair of gloves to do the robot or karate chops with DO NOT buy these gloves- they will disappoint. It’s like they have been made for the shape of your hand, and not a cardboard cutout of a hand! This translates nicely to holding things like ice axes, cross-country ski poles or simply grabbing things with unbelievable dexterity when the opportunity arises in the outdoors… or unheated indoor bathrooms:

2. Windstopper

Gore-Tex this, Gore-Tex that. Who needs a waterproof membrane in winter, IT DOESN’T RAIN! Last time I checked when it’s -15 and I want to snowshoe to my tree-house to discuss with Billy and Tommy if girls have cooties or not the snow was dry, and not wet. Oh thank you Windstopper for existing to fill my every desire. I don’t know how Arc'teryx actually gets the Gore Windstopper membrane in there, but it is in there, like caramel in a Caramilk bar. Wind and snow go bug the chumps with fleece on, not I.

Are you sitting at home right now disgusted at my anti-waterproof comments? Are you standing over the garbage bin with all your Gore-Tex? In either case you definitely need more time researching before listening to lil’ ol’ me. Judge for yourself- it’s fun and justifies buying more gear. My point is this: make hundreds of snowballs and throw them at random strangers. Now look down at your gloves. Now look back to me. Now realize your hands aren’t wet. You’re welcome. Now call Old Spice and tell them I should be sued.

Unfortunately she overpowered me with her pink TNF boots (with a massive smile on her face, I might add).

3. Cinch tab

As much as I love buying $130 gloves that are super-insulated and waterproof, but have no decent cinch to keep the snow from getting in my wrist thus causing my hands to get wet, I tend to want to write angry emails addressed to ‘To Whom It May Concern In Your Crap R&D Department.’ This glove has a nice laser-cut pull tab that is easy to grab (with gloves on) and is non-bulky, thus unnoticeable when the glove is in use over or under a jacket sleeve. PS: In my head it was cut by a laser, but I may be making this part up.

4. Leather palm

I am sure many of you hardcore readers have read Max’s review of the Sigma AR glove by Arc’teryx, so there is really no need to go into why dead animals make for such amazing glove palm material. Tough, very tough- thank you Max for illustrating this in a hilarious and possibly glove-ruining way. What he didn’t get into was the after-activity benefits. They are supple, sooooooooooooo very supple. Ever tried closing your eyes with badly made synthetic-palmed gloves on, and tried to figure out what is in your hand? Good luck. Poorly placed stitches, thick, cheap fabrics will stop you short. Buy a pair of these and close your eyes. Touch things, feel things, you just might end up with a smile on your face:

If the image has not been burned into your brain, you are probably thinking of the benefits of this feature in the outdoor world as well. Good luck and have fun.

M

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Arc'teryx Alpha SV glove video review, just click here

The North Face Makalu reviewed by Mark, just click here